Narcotized
==========

* Ryan Childers

![Figure1](http://www.cmaj.ca/https://www.cmaj.ca/content/cmaj/186/15/1173/F1.medium.gif)

[Figure1](http://www.cmaj.ca/content/186/15/1173/F1)

Image courtesy of becau/iStock/Thinkstock

> Another late night.
> 
> The fluorescent bulb buzzes
> 
> overhead, as I read and write,
> 
> while out my dark window
> 
> a city rests in the cold.

> The phone rings,
> 
> and at this hour,
> 
> from this loved one,
> 
> worry sets in.
> 
> She tells me things have changed.

> Her tone is hollow,
> 
> strained and unfamiliar.
> 
> Her admission is brave;
> 
> my reaction is not,
> 
> overtaken by the quicksands
> 
> of desperate disbelief.

> Her voice cracks;
> 
> at first, she was taking
> 
> just a little, to soothe the pain,
> 
> but now rock bottom.

> Disease, and its evolution,
> 
> the great paradigm shift of life;
> 
> we mark it well in our craft,
> 
> but sometimes words
> 
> are all we have
> 
> when pills fail,
> 
> and sometimes time,
> 
> alone,
> 
> purifies what words cannot.

> The call now ended,
> 
> I slowly shut my books,
> 
> knowing that what I need,
> 
> what she needs,
> 
> lies not in them,
> 
> but inside each of us.
> 
> The moon outside my dark window
> 
> shines, imperfectly.