SUV * WMD
Fun fur * Darfur
Fat farms * Fatwahs
Spermicide * Genocide
Stem cells * Terrorist cells
Low-carb diet * No carbs: die
Evian * Avian
Cicadas * Al-Qaida
iPods * Death squads
Smart cards * Smart bombs
Diamond mines * Land mines
Suicide wings * Suicide bombers
Reality TV * Reality
Bed-headed * Beheaded
Hypertension * Ethnic tension
Swiffer WetJets * Strafing fighter jets
Puppet shows * Puppet governments
Julia Child dies * Every fifth child dies
Lost in Translation * Found in the rubble
Mudpack * Mud hut
Hockey lockout * Air strike
Holiday tourtière * Daily torture
Martha incarcerated * Martyrs incinerated
Slow food movement * Slow movement of food
Voted off the island * Blown off the face of the earth
“You're fired!” * You're on fire!
Plasma screens * Plasma shortages
“Roll Up the Rim to Win” * Roll up the tin to the wind
Quarter Pounder with Cheese * Forty pounder with fleas
Kids napping on the floor * Kidnappers pounding down the door
Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire? * Who wants to bury a refugee?
Teens getting stoned, having sex * Teens having sex, getting stoned